How vulnerability allows me to access my authenticity
As a recovering perfectionist, I always thought of vulnerability as weakness for as long as I can remember. It was something for me to avoid at all costs and something I never wanted to be caught doing.
I pictured it showing up as what I thought were 'bad' emotions like fear, sadness, or anger. I saw it as letting down my defensive walls and letting others see what was really going on inside my head, which was always a terrifying thought.
My perfectionist tendencies have me wanting everything to go a certain, scripted, predictable way. Life according to a plan. A life that would please others, not offend anyone, and not make anyone uncomfortable with those heavy emotions.
I learned that this view of vulnerability was a limiting belief.
It had me living my life on other people's terms. And over time, it caused me to lose alignment with what I really wanted and needed. I just kept putting other people's wants and needs before my own to the point that I didn't even know what I wanted anymore.
These vulnerability breakdowns have led me to multiple breakthroughs in authenticity, giving me more access to who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to show up in the world.
Without my breakdowns in vulnerability, I wouldn't have this access to my authenticity.
After working with my coach and watching and reading a lot of Brené Brown, I've redefined vulnerability as courage, not weakness. It is a way for me to show up wholeheartedly in the world. It is a way to build deeper connections with other people.
Getting messy is okay. Not being perfect is what makes you authentic.
As women, we tend to serve others at the expense of our authenticity. Over time that leads to us not trusting ourselves, especially when it comes to decision making. We become doubtful of our decisions and ask other people what we should do.
I've seen this show up with clients too. They come to me not knowing what it is they really want, they feel indecisive, and a bit lost. By working together they are able to tune into their authenticity and know it enough to stop and ask themselves for what they truly want and need out of a given situation. Then they are able to more confidently make decisions in service of the future they desire. They are able to tune out some of the noise that used to be deafening.
These have been some of my favorite transformations to see first-hand. Women finding their authenticity, their voice, and their passions.
A few tips if you’re looking for a breakthrough in your own authenticity:
When making a decision, stop and ask yourself "what are MY wants and needs?" Choose from this place
When you're not sure if you're doing something for yourself or for someone else, stop and ask yourself why 5 times to go deeper than you usually do
When you're feeling stuck, ask yourself "what would my highest and greatest version of myself do?"
If you're still feeling stuck, feel free to reach out. I'd be happy to help you process this together. Shoot me a note at brittany@hellovelocity.co or schedule a free 30 minute clarity call here.
Brittany is a life & leadership coach, trainer, and the founder of Hello Velocity where she helps ambitious individuals and corporate teams enhance their performance by working smarter, not harder. When she isn't building her business, you can find her planning her next travel adventure, taking a yoga or kickboxing class, or checking out a local brewery. She was recently acknowledged as one of the top coaches in Charlotte, NC.
