Giving and receiving feedback during performance evaluations
It's that time of year again: annual performance evaluation season!
Many of my clients are writing performance evaluations for their employees and are receiving their own evaluations.
Photo by The Wilson Media Co.
Today's guide will help you navigate through the most difficult parts of the process.
My number one piece of advice for managers is that you need to be having on-going feedback discussions with your employees throughout the year so that nothing in an annual performance review is surprising to them. You two should already be aligned on accomplishments, areas for growth, and long term career development.
However, I know this isn't always the case and feedback conversations can be difficult or uncomfortable for people on both sides.
Obviously each company's process will be different whether it includes a written or verbal part of the process or any process at all (come on y'all!). So use these helpful tips as a starting place and apply to your own situation and needs.
We're going to look at it from a few angles:
Giving feedback to your employees
Positive recognition
Constructive feedback
Long term development plans
1. Giving feedback to your employees
Three main areas you need to cover when giving feedback to your employees is: positive recognition and acknowledgement, constructive feedback, and long term development.
Positive recognition
Ways to make sure you're being as effective as possible include:
Be specific - share specific skills and strengths they have and give specific examples of where they shined (multiple is best).
Ex: Your attention to detail while creating your monthly sales report is incredible.
Share the impact - help them see the greater impact their strengths have on the team, teammates, you, or the organization. Oftentimes, these are things they may not know yet or don't get to see the ripple effect of their own work, so it can be really empowering.
Ex: [Person] mentioned to me that they appreciated your attention to detail on the monthly sales report because it saved their team hours of editing.
Acknowledge them - share another acknowledgement or kudos to continue what's working.
Ex: The team so appreciates the skills you bring to the table and I encourage you to continue your dedication to detail.
Constructive feedback
Constructive feedback helps your employees understand where they need to focus their efforts in order to improve their performance.
Your choice of language here is CRUCIAL so you need to be very intentional and prepared for these conversations.
First of all, we need to be clear that we need to be giving high-quality feedback. Constructive feedback needs to be relevant to their work (not things you just don't like about them personally), based on behaviors, skills, or performance (so it can be measured), and something that they can change (not about other people or situations they can't control). It needs to be specific, helpful, and actionable for the individual.
You do not want to give feedback that is vague ('you're not quite there yet'), based solely on personality traits ('you're not approachable'), or based on idioms (ex: 'you just need to bite the bullet,' 'you haven't hit the ground running,' 'we're back to square one'). These will cause confusion and frustration.
Another area to watch out for here are implicit biases across race and gender. Studies have shown that women and people of color receive lower quality feedback than male or white workers. Some specific examples:
"Some 56% of women surveyed said they have been described as unlikeable in their performance reviews and 78% have been called emotional, while 16% and 11% of men respectively said they have been similarly described."
"White and Asian men receive the highest quality feedback, and half of them said they’ve been called intelligent compared to less than 20% of Black and Hispanic/Latino workers."
Source: Race and gender stereotypes permeate in performance reviews, study finds HR-Brew, 2024
One way to gut check yourself in the moment is asking yourself, would I use this language to describe someone of a different gender or race?
And lastly, in your delivery you have to find the balance between being so direct that it feels harsh and not being direct enough that the person doesn't understand the point you're trying to make. Recommendations to do that include:
Come prepared - you need to be prepared for the conversation with talking points you need to cover and specific examples to explain your feedback.
Start with something positive - First let them know what is working about the situation. This helps ease you both into an uncomfortable conversation.
Ex: Your presentation slides are always so well done and easy to follow. I really appreciate that.
Don't use the word 'but' - When you use the word 'but' between praise and feedback it negates the praise and the person will hyper-focus on the negative.
State the facts of the feedback - keep to the facts of what they're doing so that it is not based on opinions, judgments, or biases. One way to do that is think of what a neutral third party would say about the situation or events.
Ex: I've noticed that you've submitted your presentation slides late on several occasions in the last three months. Twice you asked for extensions on your deadlines and the other times there was no communication around the late submission.
Share the impact - bring to their attention the impact of this situation on others, again this may be something they don't know or don't see first-hand.
Ex: When your presentation slides are late, I don't have time to review before I'm presenting them in our leadership meeting so I feel unprepared and am unable to answer their questions. Because of this, we didn't get the approval that we needed to move forward on our projects and twice it got pushed to the next meeting two weeks later.
Come up with a plan together - in order to make the feedback actionable, you need to offer advice, next steps, or brainstorm ideas together of how they want to do things differently in the future.
Ex: What's getting in the way of you completing the slides on time consistently? I know you can do it because you've done it in the past. What's worked before?
Ex: How can I support you with your deadlines going forward? What are our next steps?
Long term development
To keep your employees engaged and motivated, you'll want to keep their long term development part of your on-going quarterly and annual performance conversations. This includes their:
Professional development within the company. What are some ideas of ways they can grow outside of
their day to day role? Are there any other areas in the company that would be helpful for them to learn from? It could be shadowing someone, sitting in on meetings, or taking on a new strategic project.
Professional development outside the company. What are some ideas of ways they can grow outside of the company? Consider conferences, webinars, associations, non-profits, books, podcasts, and courses that can support their professional development goals.
Career paths within the company. Are you continuing to have conversations about their interest in promotions or working on other teams? Do they know what next steps are to get there?
Career paths outside the company. This one is difficult for most managers to think about, but the best managers want the best for their employees whether that's staying or going. Be open to conversations with your employees about finding opportunities elsewhere that may fit better with their long-term growth plans.
2. Giving feedback to your boss
It's helpful for your manager to know what's working in your relationship and what's not so that you both can be as effective and efficient as possible.
In order to identify what type of feedback you'd want to give your manager, simply ask yourself that: what's working and what's not working? Consider different areas of your day-to-day like how they train you, how they delegate to you, how they interact with you in meetings or other forms of communication.
For positive feedback, you'll want to follow the same tips in the section above about positive recognition.
Some annual performance processes include upward feedback as part of the process but either way it can still be uncomfortable when giving constructive feedback. Remember that it's for the betterment of both of you to learn how to work better together and (good) leaders want feedback from their employees.
A few things to keep in mind to make it easier on yourself:
Find an appropriate time and space - if this isn't part of your team's annual review process, you'll need to request time for it. Either add it on your agenda for your one-on-one meeting or save time for it at the end of your own annual review meeting. For something urgent (i.e. they said something offensive) address it as soon as possible after the incident in a private setting.
Ask if they're open to feedback - This will help get the conversation started or transition from another topic.
ex: Are you open to some feedback on how we can work together better?
Share your perspective of the situation - let them know what happened (happens) from your point of view (hint: they may not realize the impact it had on you)
ex: Lately I've felt overwhelmed with having so many things on my plate and not knowing how to prioritize what to work on first when you assign me to the last-minute client requests that come in. It can feel like everything is urgent.
Offer a solution - you'll want to come to the conversation with a solution in mind, and you'll also want to be open to coming up with new ideas together so that you're both committed and on the same page.
ex: Going forward when I'm starting a new project, could we take a few minutes to talk about all of the projects I'm working on to decide what is the highest priority together?
Commit to a solution or next step together - be very specific at the end of the conversation about what the next steps are you each are committing to.
ex: Thank you for talking through this today! I feel better already. So to confirm, next time we have a last minute client request come through, we'll talk through all of my priorities for the next few days to make sure we're prioritizing my work load appropriately. We'll both do our best to remember in the moment.
3. Receiving feedback from others
Receiving feedback from others can be hard for people for a variety of reasons. Some of us don't like the spotlight to be on us, even in a private setting. Some of us think that any constructive feedback feels like a confrontation and they shrink or freeze entirely. Wherever you are on the feedback spectrum, here are a few tips to handle receiving feedback with more ease:
Receiving positive feedback
Thank them - thanking someone when receiving feedback is a way for you to own this positive feedback and accomplishment. It can build confidence in yourself and if you're someone who doesn't like the spotlight on you, it's something simple to say without having to think about it much.
Don't deflect or discredit yourself - don't say you were just lucky or it was because of someone else. Own your accomplishments! Sometimes this is a habit for people and they aren't even aware that they do it subtly in their language. You can tell you're deflecting or discrediting yourself if you say things like "Thank you but..." or "oh it was nothing" or "it wasn't a big deal" or "no problem."
Celebrate your accomplishments - so many people I work with receive wonderful feedback or achieve milestones and simply move on to the next goal or milestone. I highly recommend you celebrate your accomplishments small and big. Take the time to do something for yourself to celebrate you, reflect on what you've achieved, your growth, and progress along the way.
Receiving constructive feedback
Please remember, it can be uncomfortable for anyone to hear a critique, even if they're the expert of something. Here are some ways to handle the conversation with more ease in the moment:
Breathe through it - while the other person is talking you'll want to focus on your breathing. Taking deep breaths can help regulate your emotions so you don't feel emotions bubbling up to the surface ready to burst (by way of words you'll regret or tears you'd rather not share with them).
Thank them - when the person is done saying their peace, thank them for their feedback. All great leaders want feedback (whether you agree with it or not) to learn from and continue growing.
Ask questions - this will help you understand better, get to the root of it, and not shut down in the moment. It may also save you from anxious deliberation later by getting answers immediately.
Make it actionable - take responsibility in the moment to talk through a plan with your manager for next steps or considerations of what to do differently going forward.
Another disclaimer: don't take feedback too personally. Trust me I get it that this is easier said than done. We don't want or need the feedback to cause you to spiral emotionally or mentally. If the feedback is something that feels personal or has you bothered, take some time afterwards to be with your emotions, name the emotions, and do what you need to do to move through them.
Maybe you need to vent to a trusted friend, maybe you need to go for a walk or do a high intensity workout to let off some steam. For some situations, you may need to simply accept that the person is not supportive and you need to let go of their hurtful feedback.
4. What to do when you boss doesn't give you feedback
I want you to first know that you deserve more. You deserve to be heard, valued, and invested in by your manager and your employer.
Unfortunately, many organizations in corporate America are currently short-staffed or not prioritizing their employees.
What is in our control as individuals is taking some steps to proactively request feedback. If your boss isn't doing this stuff already, they may say they just don't have time, so you likely will need to keep it as simple as possible for them.
First, you'll want to request a specific meeting with your manager to discuss your performance and development.
Since there may not be a specific process in place (or your boss simply doesn't do it), you can request that they come prepared to the conversation by answering some key questions for you, like:
How is my performance measuring against the expectations for my role?
What do you see as my strengths?
What areas could I improve on?
How can I continue growing and planning for long-term growth here?
If they push back on it or continue to reschedule it, you need to make it known how important it is for you AND I highly recommend you begin looking for opportunities elsewhere, because this is a very minimum standard and there are so many other companies who care and invest in their employees and clearly this organization does not.
Keep this framework handy all year long — download the free guide, How to Give Feedback to Your Team Members. Grab it here.
Brittany Canaski is a highly-rated Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Founder of Hello Velocity where she builds confident leaders and high-performing teams. When she's not building her business, you can find her planning her next travel adventure with her husband, watching Formula 1 racing, or volunteering in her local community of Charlotte, NC.
