Why even high-achieving women experience imposter syndrome (and what to do about it)
The term imposter syndrome has become more and more popular in the last few years.
If you're not familiar, it means persistent self-doubt combined with professional fraudulence. So essentially, not only do you not believe in yourself, but you also think no one around you does. In fact, you may be worried that someone will call you out for it and say something like 'who are you to be here?' 'why should we trust you?' 'you've only been doing this for x years, you don't know enough.’
Disempowering, right? It's no wonder these thoughts will have you feeling less confident, staying quiet in meetings, and always seeking external validation.
I've found imposter syndrome is one of those terms that a lot of people, especially women, can easily label themselves with, but then don't know how to move past it.
Photo by The Wilson Media Co
It's become an identity that we carry. It may have been helpful at first as a way to better understand ourselves, to feel seen, and relate to others. But what's important is knowing how to continually grow and move through the imposter syndrome so it's no longer holding you back.
Imposter syndrome is likely more prevalent for people new in their field or role. However, I've seen plenty of my clients who've been in a field for years, are perfectly qualified, and have been successful consistently, still struggle with it.
Another symptom of imposter syndrome I see pop up for women is that they're seeking external validation through countless certifications, degrees, and any learning they can get their hands on as a way to prove themselves.
Of course, learning and growth is important and very valuable - however - there is a point where it's too much. When you're doing it just to prove to other people you know what you're doing, or when you're stressing yourself out to always get the next achievement and it's not improving your skills in a meaningful way, it's too far. It can become a crutch of feeling accomplished and keeping you busy but really it's a distraction of not trusting yourself and your worth.
And that's really what's at the base of imposter syndrome: you don't trust yourself.
So three areas I recommend my clients look when they're struggling with imposter syndrome are:
Know your stuff
'Stuff' being your field, your role, your area of expertise in whatever situation you're not feeling confident. You don't always have to be the best, especially not right away, but you need to confidently be able to speak about your area of expertise and trust yourself going into these situations.
Often you'll find that you already have and know everything you need (plus more), and we tend to worry and over-prepare for the worst case scenario which can zap our confidence if we let it. Or we are always trying to be the best at everything (hello fellow high-achievers!) which can cause us to never feel good enough, also zapping our confidence.
So instead of always setting your expectations for yourself unreasonably high, focus on your basic needs in the situation that you need to have covered. For example, if you're preparing to present to a new client - what are the key takeaways you want them to walk away with? What do they need to know? What do you need to bring to the meeting? What do you need to have memorized vs. available on hand for questions as needed?
To help you distinguish when enough is enough for new trainings, certifications, etc. you can ask yourself - why do I want to learn this? You may have to ask yourself why a few times to get to the root of it. Is it for you, your growth, your curiosity, getting to the next level - or is it to prove something to someone else unnecessarily or out of some sort of fear?
Know your worth
It can take time to find and grow your confidence and that's okay.
One way to start is by celebrating little wins along the way instead of just waiting for the big milestones. Maybe you reflect on your wins each day or at the end of each week. It’s like a muscle that you’re building.
You can also create your own pump up list for each specific situation as needed. This is to help you build that trust with yourself. You can do it by answer reflection questions about the situation like - why you're doing this, what skills you bring, what experiences you bring, what you've achieved or overcome in the past, when you've started something else new, etc.
It sounds so simple and it is really simple, but it can really help ground you in your worth and confidence. I recommend reading it back later again when that imposter syndrome creeps back up. These are all on-going practices not a one-and-done solution.
Know your values
Your core values are what you stand for, how you want to show up, and what makes you unique. Knowing these values allows you to better know your authentic self so you can be confident in who you are and trust yourself on a deeper level to handle any situation that comes your way.
Download a copy of my (free) core values exercise to practice this yourself.
I found this exercise to be my go-to exercise for my clients to help build their confidence. It really helps you get to know yourself better, and I found most people haven't done an exercise like this before.
Once you know your three core value words, you can use these as a filter when making decisions or for feeling more confident in who you are and how you show up in situations. This helps with not needing external validation as much and so that you aren't just deferring to other people when making decisions.
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Brittany Canaski is a highly-rated Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Founder of Hello Velocity where she builds confident leaders and high-performing teams. When she's not building her business, you can find her planning her next travel adventure with her husband, watching Formula 1 racing, or volunteering in her local community of Charlotte, NC.
