My four biggest learnings from 2020
After completing my own #PEACEOUT2020 worksheets during my first challenge, I realized how many amazing learnings I had gained during 2020. Despite it being the most difficult year I can remember, many of us have a lot of learnings that we can take with us the rest of our lives.
If you haven't spent time reflecting on your learnings, I hope this will inspire you to take a few minutes yourself to stop and consider what you're taking with you into the new year.
1. I can be with contradicting emotions at the same time
After reflecting on 2020, I realized the year was full of contradicting feelings for me:
Disappointment
Inspiration
Fear
Gratitude
Uncomfortable
Peace
Change
Love
Then it hit me that this was one of my biggest learnings this year. How to be with my feelings and really feel them instead of bury them down and pretend like everything is fine #stepfordwives style.
Here are a few new things I took on this year to help me be with so many contradicting emotions in service of moving through them:
I worked with a therapist for the first time ever
I practiced not holding back my tears
I began naming my feelings in the moment
I let go of the idea that there are "good" and "bad" feelings - instead validating all feelings and letting them show up as they need to
2. Acceptance is a choice
There is so much power to acceptance and letting go, if we choose to let it happen.
At the beginning of the pandemic, there were so many unknowns (okay there still are), and it felt like my life had just done a 180.
I (and many of us) went from a steady routine, planned future events, and predictability to every day being different, future events cancelled, and little predictability.
For several months I carried this weight of fearing the unknown. Fearing for the future, fearing for what my life would look like in 6 months or a year, fearing for who wouldn't come out of this pandemic with me.
While fearing the future I was also clinging to the past. When will things go back to the way they were? When will I be able to reschedule everything I had to cancel? When can I hug my friends again?
By working with my coach and therapist I was able to see that living in constant fear and disappointment was a choice. Another choice I had was acceptance of the unknown, and letting go of my expectations.
Once I let go of these fears, I could see clearly again. I could see exactly what I wanted and needed to do. I could see what was most important to me. I could move forward from an empowered place.
3. Nothing is going to look like I've planned and that's okay
This year I learned that nothing is going to look like I've planned, and that's okay.
To be honest, this was something pretty hard for a Type A, recovering perfectionist, and daily planner to wrap my head around.
But I've learned that when I let go of controlling every little detail of my plans and let go of having specific expectations for my future, things tend to turn out even better than I imagined.
I think 2020 has in some way been a blessing for a lot of people. To slow down, to step away for the hustle and bustle of our lives that were simply on auto-pilot.
A lot of us have been given the time and space to tune into what is most important to us, not what society demands of us.
Maybe we don't have to constantly be doing and going and planning. Maybe when we stop and just BE, we can tap into even bigger and more important things.
Sometimes letting go is simply just recognizing what is unfinished for you and declaring it complete.
Sometimes letting go can require more depth.
More depth can look like:
Understanding what is really in the way
Finding the support you need to move past it
Setting a deadline for getting it done
Telling your accountability partner your 'what by when'
On the other side of letting go is that big exhale.
On the other side is freedom.
On the other side is clarity.
4. Making decisions from within creates the most clarity
Another big learning I had in 2020 is how to tune into my heart and gut (soul) when making big (and small) decisions
I used to be someone that was so indecisive.
I would ask everyone's opinion before making a decision, do all the research I could think of, and still not be confident I was making the right choice.
When I thought I'd have to give up my business this year (three months after I started) because of the pandemic I was confronted with every feeling that I used to hide from: fear, disappointment, anger, frustration, and guilt.
By tuning into these emotions and reminding myself of my original mission of my business (empowering ambitious people to create their own path in life) I realized I had everything I needed within me to keep moving forward.
My heart was reminding me of the words from a previous client "you've changed my life"
My soul was reminding me of that little voice in my head that I've heard since I was young "you're meant to do so much more"
So I did it. I made the biggest decision of my life to quit my job during a pandemic to build my own business without a safety net.
And I haven't looked back once.
Amazing things happen when you listen to your heart and your soul instead of everyone around you.
Have you taken the time to reflect on 2020 and your learnings? You may realize the power in acceptance and walk away with an incredible list of your accomplishments for the year too.
Brittany is a life & leadership coach, trainer, and the founder of Hello Velocity where she helps ambitious individuals and corporate teams enhance their performance by working smarter, not harder. When she isn't building her business, you can find her planning her next travel adventure, taking a yoga or kickboxing class, or checking out a local brewery. She was recently acknowledged as one of the top coaches in Charlotte, NC.
