3 signs you’re having a quarter-life crisis

We've all heard of a midlife crisis. You're probably picturing a middle-aged dad (dad bod included) waking up one day, kissing his wife and kids goodbye to go to work, but instead he goes to his local car dealer and buys a brand new red corvette he can't afford just to feel a little bit of excitement in his otherwise mundane life.

 Kind of sad, right?

 Now, the term quarter-life crisis is becoming more popular these last few years, I like to think by millennials. Typically it's seen as someone in their mid twenties to early thirties beginning to question the direction of their life. Sometimes it ends with a big change like moving across the country, going back to school, or changing careers.

My quarter-life crisis was a way for me to avoid a midlife crisis later.

 For me it showed up as waking up one day when I was 28 and realizing that I had everything I thought I wanted but I wasn't excited about it. It was like I had checked all the boxes of "A Good Life" someone else had made up for me: I had the dream job, apartment, boyfriend, friends, family, and hobbies, but I wasn't feeling fulfilled, and thought I should be doing so much more with my life.

 I knew something was off and was ashamed to admit it out loud for a few more months. I hated this idea that I had to continue living my life feeling empty, like I wasn't making a difference in the world, and that I wasn’t fulfilling my potential.

 That's when I hired my first life coach.

 Working with a coach gave me that safe space to talk about these wants, needs, and feelings that I didn't know I needed. It helped me normalize being stuck, and that it's okay to want more. The time and space allowed me to tap back into what I truly wanted, and not just follow along society's expectations for a 20-something white female.

 So how do you know that you're going through a quarter life crisis?

1 - You're stuck in a rut: just going through the motions of your day to day

Usually this feels like you're on a hamster wheel, always moving and 'so busy' but not getting anywhere. Maybe your life is beginning to feel too predictable and not challenging enough. Or maybe you're realizing you're good at what you do, so why rock the boat and have to learn something new?

For me it became really apparent when I began working from home full-time (back when people were actually envious of it and it wasn't the norm #2020). I didn't have much to break up my day, was getting my work done a lot faster than when I was in the office, so I found myself resorting to binging a lot of Netflix shows. I was getting everything done I needed, faster than I needed, and getting paid good money to work from home, living the dream right?

But then you wake up one day and realize that if you keep going down this path, your whole life is going to flash before your eyes without you having a say in what the future looks like. You're just along for the ride.

2 - You're feeling uninspired: you don't know what you're even passionate about anymore

 With my clients, especially female clients, this shows up as having lived their life so long on other people's terms that they don't even know what their true wants and needs are anymore. They've quieted their gut and inner wisdom for the sake of other people's expectations, comfort, and the idea of being 'normal.'

 This one was hard for me to admit. I thought I knew what I wanted, and could spout off a few ideas of what I wanted for my future. But when I dug deeper with my coach, I realized those were still just ideas that came from what I thought I 'should' be doing with my life, and not what really lit me up inside.

 Without finding those values and ideas that you're obsessed with pursuing, your whole life will be this string of mediocre events that are fine, good, swell. Why settle for that when your life could be full of passion, fulfillment, and inspiration?

 3 - You're wasting your potential: You know that you're meant for more than what you're doing now

 Maybe you felt like something was supposed to shift or click by now. Maybe you've always had a little voice in your head telling you that you were meant to do great things. Now you're left wondering, what could that be? I know it can't be what I'm doing now.

 For me it felt like no matter what I accomplished, it was never enough. Nothing was really moving me to be proud of what I was doing or to feel truly connected to what I was doing. Each promotion left me asking 'now what?' instead of being proud and knowing this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

 You don't want to wake up in ten years regretting your life choices.

 I got unstuck, and so can you

 During the few months I worked with my coach, I learned more about myself than I had in my whole life. I learned all these stories I had made up about myself, life, and everyone around me that ruled every little decision I made and action I took.

 It was like I had always seen the world in black and white and I finally started to see color. Like I was finally getting off the hamster wheel of life. Like I was freshening up my mind with some much needed WD-40 on a squeaky door.

 I could finally see that I had been holding myself back and was finally able to discover my passions, my power, and my authenticity again.

 Now, I work everyday to help other millennials going through their quarter-life crisis to get unstuck so they can avoid that dreaded midlife crisis later. Interested in learning more about how to get unstuck from your quarter-life crisis? Schedule a free 30-min chat with me today.

Brittany is a life & leadership coach, trainer, and the founder of Hello Velocity where she helps ambitious individuals and corporate teams enhance their performance by working smarter, not harder. When she isn't building her business, you can find her planning her next travel adventure, taking a yoga or kickboxing class, or checking out a local brewery. She was recently acknowledged as one of the top coaches in Charlotte, NC.